The South, to put it lightly, is not exactly a stronghold of vegetarianism. Fried chicken, ham hocks, and barbequed ribs rule the day. Still, it is possible to find sustenance in the Land of Cotton without eating dead chicken and pig. You just have to use a little creativity and have a fair helping of patience.
First off, you need to know your best friend beyond Mason and Dixon; its name is "Sides." While every red-blooded Southerner wouldn't call it a meal if half a pig weren't consumed, Mama also done beat it in that you better eat your vegetables. And so, you have your green beans and slaw, turnip greens, mashed potatoes and yams, corn on the cob, and of course fried okra.
Aw, but don't be too lulled into safety. There is danger at every turn. Turnip greens? Steeped in ham hocks (I still don't know what they are, and amusingly enough we just saw an episode of Dexter's Laboratory that makes the same joke; frankly, I don't want to know). Mashed potatoes? No gravy, please. And my beloved fried okra? Sometimes ok, sometimes...tastes like fried chicken. They opted not to use the vegetable oil that time, it seems.
In all of this, the most important thing to remember is that vegetarianism is a completely foreign concept in the South. Even if you ask for no meat, you may still get it. At one breakfast, after specifically asking to opt out of the meat portion of the meal, I got extra special has browns with ham bits.
And, most hilariously, when Vivian asked for no bacon bits on one dinner salad, it came out covered with big chunks of ham. Vivian then asked for no ham, and the waitress said, "Oh, you didn't want ham, either?" Mind you, ham wasn't even an option on the menu, so Vivian didn't even think about saying no ham. It was just a substitute they put in to be nice, figuring that if she just didn't like bacon on her salad, she just wanted the real thing, fresh ham.
So the moral? In the South, cook for yourself.
Or stay home.
Miles: 6666
Posted by yozhik at August 3, 2003 05:55 PM